Hey, you. Remember us? Have you forgotten who we are?
Oh yeah… remember when we shaved Derek’s head for the first time and we enjoyed our second Thanksgiving together… back in 2008? Didn’t we look young?!
Ahhh.. looking back on the good old days. These pictures were taken before we got married, before we moved up north, and before we had even considered creating a child. We had such a glimmer in our eyes and anyone looking at these photos could tell that we were in love.
And we still are… but life is very different with a child. And that is precisely why we really valued this weekend. My parents took Ella for 2 nights and Derek and I lived it up. We didn’t really live it up–we started a laborious home improvement project. But we were kid-less and had only ourselves to worry about and it was glorious!
The first night was weird–I’m not going to lie and say that I was like an unleashed animal. Derek and I didn’t quite know what to do with ourselves. I slept like hell and kept hearing Ella’s phantom cries in the middle of the night. But the next morning… that was something else. We lied in bed with coffee in hand, watched HLN news, and took our sweet ass time getting up and moving. Then after a long day of work on the house, we decided to go out for dinner and a movie.
We got to the restaurant about 70 minutes before the movie started so that we could take our time drinking and talking. I had dirty martinis and Derek had beer. I’m such a cheap date that those 2 drinks nearly did me in. I was flirting and laughing and telling Derek my stupid philosophies about life and men. He chuckled and grinned with his signature innocent face, and it melted my heart. We had such a great time together that we were late getting to the movie. We were so late, in fact, that we had to sit in the second row! And after 2 martinis, my head was kind of blurry and the screen 2 inches from our faces made me feel sort of sick. We saw Savages. That damn Salma Hayek is so flippin’ gorgeous that she makes the rest of us look bad! Damn her.
Those few hours of being together brought us back. We were Derek and Marisa and not Mommy and Daddy. Please don’t misunderstand me–we wouldn’t take back being Mommy and Daddy. Ever. But it was so incredibly rejuvenating to be Derek and Marisa again, even if it was just for a little while.
Having children changes you. I’m not sure I know how to adequately explain it, but it does. If you’re doing it right, you pour every minute of your life into your children, especially when they’re little. Everything revolves around poop, naps, food, play time, packing everything, avoiding tantrums, etc. And with every milestone, comes a steep learning curve. It’s exhausting. And yet it’s the most rewarding challenge of my lifetime.
But as parents, we also need breaks. We need to set time aside for one another–together and apart. As much as we’d all like to say that we’re completely in love all the time, it’s just not true. Sometimes we need a swift kick in the ass in order to find the flame again. The flame is good, my friends. Don’t let it go out. We need that flame to break through the monotony of the daily grind. As if we need another excuse for frequent dates with our spouses, children raised seeing love between their parents are usually more successful in their own relationships.
So, call a sitter, pawn off your kids with relatives, plan a sleepover–whatever. Take an afternoon or an evening and spend it with your honey. Shave your legs, put on your pretty smelly lotion, skip the panties and then do something you enjoy together. You’ll be happy you did 🙂
Have a great week.